Independence
Raising children seems harder than ever these days. ‘Give your children the life you didn’t have. But don’t spoil them. Give them the world. But don’t do too much for them.’ We are here to partner with you on this journey and swim with you through the sea of opinions and advice.
We get it!
We’ve all seen it: a small child kicking and screaming as she is being carried out of a public space, a three year old squalling that he can do it by himself. We often see these episodes as bad behavior, but these children are sending a message: help me do it myself!
Children are naturally aiming toward independence, but adults don’t always hear their message clearly. Without realizing it, our well intended help can become an obstacle on a child’s path to independence. Whether this is your child’s first adventure away from home or they have been in someone else’s care since they were six weeks old, there are things you can do right now to support their journey to independence.
Your Child Can Put On Their Own Clothes and Shoes
While adorable lace up shoes and other fancy clothes are appealing, oftentimes they present an obstacle for our children. Set them up for success with clothes and shoes they can slip in and out of easily. Slip on or velcro shoes, pants with an elastic waistband, and simple shirts are best for our youngest learners.
Once they have the right things, the key to allowing your child to be independent in dressing is to allow enough time for them to try as many times as they need. Be sure to get up early enough that you can be near your child while they get dressed, so you can coach as needed. Use positive phrasing!
If you have seen your child put on a t-shirt before, a simple, “You can put your shirt on,” is all the coaching they will need. Conversely, if your child is new to dressing themselves, they will likely need your step by step direction. Do your best to verbally talk through what they can do without touching or helping. "Find the big hole in your shirt. Put your head through there. Now put your hand through that small hole."