Independent Bathroom Routine
Be Prepared
Becoming fully independent in the bathroom can be frustrating and as the adult, we have to prepare ourselves to handle the child’s frustration in an unruffled manner. Expecting some frustration and readying ourselves with tools like understanding, compassion, deep breathing and faith in the child’s ability to do it on their own all help us to stay grounded during a heightened situation. During this process, children will likely ask for help and giving it unnecessarily drags out the learning process. When a child asks for help, you can respond with positive phrasing (read more about that here) and coaching. “You can wipe,” “I’ll show you. Watch my body,” “You can get dressed. First, sit down and put this foot into this leg hole of your pants.”
The Deed is Done
After a child has gone to the bathroom, they may need you to show them how to get and fold their toilet paper. Take a turn gathering the paper, slowly demonstrating how to fold the paper and even crouching your body down to show them how they would wipe their body. When you’re first coaching them through this process, remain nearby so you can encourage them. A phrase like, “wipe until the toilet paper is clean” may be helpful.
Get Back Out There
Once your child has successfully cleaned their bodies, flushed the toilet, and made sure the bathroom is clean and ready for the next person, it’s time to leave the bathroom fully clothed. Let your child know that they can pull their clothes back on, including any snaps or buttons on their pants. If your child hasn’t mastered the button and snap, set them up for success by providing them with drawstring or elastic pants that they can easily manage on their own. Socks and shoes go back on too, but if they need to step out of the bathroom to focus on that task, that's ok. Velcro or slip on shoes are often the most successful option for children of this age.
Accidents Happen
Even a child who is well on the way towards mastery and independence in the bathroom can have an accident. Transitions, life events, and even deep concentration can cause a child to slip up. How you approach the situation is key in helping a child overcome the events quickly. “You had an accident? Ok, let’s get cleaned up. What do you need to do first?” We also encourage children to wipe up the floor or toilet if necessary. At first, more guidance may be necessary with how to clean themselves and redress, but over time they should need less direction from an adult.